"My dear. My dear. It's not so dreadful here"
Kayla | She/Her | 22 | Gay af
| ♀ | 19 | Capricorn | Infp
eightmonkeys-deactivated2022090:
staunchly against toddlers being given phones. stop that. give them little stuffed animals to play pretend with. fucking talk to them for a second even. stop giving them your phone. stop giving kids phones and ipads. stop it.
(via detectivesquiggle)
as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the pussy)
(via moonn3wt)
i could fix him but whatever the fuck is wrong with him is way funnier
headcanon: for april fools one year, stephanie successfully manages to get all the batkids to operate as Robin. in the costume and everything, so one night there’s like six Robins of varying sizes grappling around the city. and Robin is spotted at daytime, which is a rare occasion. when Batman calls for Robin on the comms, every single one of them responds, slowly driving him insane.
(the citizens of gotham are kind of confused, but y'know, they’ve seen weirder things.)
Some goon: *hurts red hood in a fight*
Batman, swooping in: you monster. You should know better than to hurt a child in my city.
Goon: uhh that’s a fully grown man?
Batman: A child. A baby boy. Thats… somebody’s son. Probably.
Jason: oh my god dad you’re so fucking embarrassing
Dick “it’s not broken if I can still move it” Grayson and his brother Jason “what bullet wound, I don’t see a bullet wound” Todd are proof that dumbassery can be inherited even through adoption (from one Bruce “I’ve never been injured in my life” Wayne)
*Breakfast table*
Tim, drinking his coffee: To be honest, I’m quite impressed, Jason. How did you manage to get Dick to rest? He has been onto this case for months now, and getting more and more grumpy.
Jason: Easy, I drugged him.
Tim: You drugged him?!
Jason: Yeh, I went down the cave with a cup of cocoa and be like “hey Dickie how’s work I made you cocoa” he thanked me without even looking at me, so I said “I want to watch you drink it.” Thankfully he’s still semi-sociable in hyperfocus mode, so he looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and downed it.
Tim: Well, I guess that’s efficient. *sips his coffee*
Jason: I’m Alfred’s honorary apprentice after all.
Jason: By the way, Timbo. How long have you been awake?
Tim, chuckles: 45 hours? Close to 50? I’m not entirely sure. What’s the date today? …Anyway I’m just here to grab the coffee, now Dick’s resting, I’m gonna finish-
Jason: Don’t worry, I’m drugging you too.
Tim: You’re dru- *passes out*
Alfred, enters the kitchen: *high-fives Jason*